Brewing legend, birthday boy and Beer and Brewer Hall of Famer Mr Geoff Logan sent me a message pointing out that his signature creation Gisborne Gold is 4% – not 5% as I wrote. I’m pretty sure I got that wrong the last time too. 

This gentle correction by (Sir) Geoff Logan [1] prompted me to think about all the other things I have got wrong over the years. Four days of hard work later I think I may have come close to compiling a list, though it by no means covers everything. 

Here we go:    

Gisborne Gold is 4% – not 5%.

My comment that David Shearer was the least popular leader of the Labour Party ever was premature.

I watched New Zealand win the first Rugby World Cup with my mate James and, while the result was pleasing, I did not consider it a big deal because the All Blacks were going to win every tournament.  As it turned out, it only took another 24 years for my prediction to happen – and even then only just. 

Game of Thrones was the hottest thing on television for two years before I’d even heard of it.

In the original 21 Jump Street series, I was convinced that the husky fellow (Peter DeLuise) was the future movie star and that his skinny emo sidekick would quickly disappear. That sidekick was Johnny Depp.

I have a Tui couch. [2]

My only appearance on the Discovery Channel is when the shoulder of my suit jacket video bombs Sam Calagione (Dogfish Head) having dinner in the New Zealand Beer Masters episode.

In my opinion, James Blunt was excellent on the Muppets and Top Gear. Apart from that, he deserves to be torn apart by wild horses for what he has done to elevator musak.

I did not believe that Mark Greatbatch should have been selected for the New Zealand Cricket

World Cup team in 1992.  He went on to average 44.71 and clearly be one of the players of the tournament.

When I worked at Parliament, my assessment that National could not possibly go below 30% in the polls proved incorrect.

I have a Tui television set.

Recently I purported to buy an Angry Birds Star Wars AT-AT play set for a deserving child. 

It was actually for me. Ironically, I have not managed to assemble it yet.

I starred in an iPredict Election Special with Matt McCarten. The station went out of business shortly after.

Like virtually everyone, I’ve owned a copy of “A brief history of time” by Professor Stephen Hawkins and not even got close to finishing it.

Every time I met the late Paul Holmes he mistook me for James McOnie (from the Crowd Goes Wild). For the record, we are separate people but James is a handsome beast.

I did not appreciate the joy of raw oysters until my 30s.

Before the last election I confidently predicted in print that New Zealand First would not reach the 5% threshold. This time I’m picking they will just to see if it works the other way round.

For many years I thought Nick Nolte and Gary Busey were different people instead of simply being drunk and sober versions of the same guy (Neil Patrick Harris).

I once cheered for the English rugby team – but only because they were playing Australia.

Last week’s column (published on Friday) frantically pimped a debate which actually occurred on the Thursday night.  [3]

I appeared on the TV show “What’s Really in Our Beer”.  The host (Petra Bagust) left the show some time between filming and airing so there is a bizarre interview on this final version where I appear to be talking happily to someone I’ve never even seen. [4]

My strongly held opinion – voiced on this blog – was that Twitter was a fad and would only be popular with people like Ashton Kutcher and Luke Nicholas. I currently have 2,715 followers.

I mistakenly said Highlander 2 was the worst film ever made. Then they made Highlander 3.

It is true that I had a romantic entanglement with a Member of Parliament.  However, that person was not a politician at the time.  Despite popular rumours based on our similar fashion styles, it was not Hon Tony Ryall.

My movie collection contains the Spice Girls Movie – on purpose.

I felt that Dipak Patel did not deserve to in the New Zealand Cricket World Cup team in

1992, far less open the bowling. Mr Patel subsequently changed the game of cricket.

Completely did not see the Emerson’s sale coming – not even close.

I have watched American Football without the express written consent of the NFL.

We completely forgot to mark the 250th edition of this fine blog. This is post number 258. 

I’m not sure if this makes it the most prolific beer blog in New Zealand history but it has to be pretty close…

Longest celebrity crush – Samantha Fox.

Least likely to work out celebrity crush – Samantha Fox.

I’m a published poet. [5]

I had a beer with now former MP Aaron Gilmour on that fateful night in Hanmer but for once, I was not involved in any shenanigans.  I was speaking in an after-dinner debate and calling the Prime Minister names.

In blog post 248, I promised to pay my bar tab at Malthouse. Obviously, I did not mean that in any legally binding way.

I once made the headlines of the Dominion Post for my dancing prowess. [6]

In several blogs I’ve referred to the Liberty brewer as Joseph Wood Esq.  No one should call a proud bogan “Esquire”. I’m sorry dude.

I’ve made several derogatory references about Kim Dotcom this year.  To my eternal regret, I should have made more.

When I worked at Parliament, my assessment that National could not possibly go below 25% in the polls also proved incorrect.

I previously apologised for describing brown ale drinkers as Coronation Street watching, cloth cap wearing, whippet owners. My initial apology noted many brown ale aficionados also own cats. I have subsequently been informed that most of them own more than one feline.

In one post I congratulated Corey Anderson for becoming an instant millionaire after signing with the IPL. In New Zealand’s last World Cup game, he severely dislocated a finger and may miss the entire tournament.  Sorry bro. I suspect this column may become a regular feature.  There is so much to apologise for.

Finally, Hopstock (Twitter: #hopstock) will run from 23 – 26 April 2014 at venues around Wellington. Malthouse will be hosting the organically certified Masterton brewery Peak Brewery.  The beer will be Fresh Hopped Rudolph’s’ Pique, a 5.5% Red Ale, which will be a rework of a festive brew from a couple of years ago.  It is a Canadian style Red ale with a hint of Belgium yeast while using green wild hops grown at the brewery.

Next time, we drink to Daniel Bryan, the man/goat who will be WWE Heavyweight Wrestling Champion of the World by next blog. You can bet on it because I never make a mistake.

[1] If there is any justice and the knighthood doesn’t go to the most recent winner of New Zealand’s Got “Talent”.

[2] A proper couch – not an inflatable one.  As if that makes any difference…

[3] The beer team beat the wine team convincingly on a flip of a coin after both the audience and the judges (one of whom was actually a District Court Judge) failed to reach a verdict.

[4] To this day, I do not know her name.

[5] Aged 8 – it was about tigers.  The key line was “tip paw, tip paw, tip paw”. Undoubtedly, a university thesis has attempted to explain what I really I meant in the poem which, from memory, was “tigers are pretty cool.”

[6] The headline was “Crowd dancing in the aisles at Irish Rovers.”  Given the only dancers at that concert were me and my friend Patrick I’m pretty sure it was about us.


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