– was the first film I went to in New Zealand and the first film I really remember seeing. When my family went to Disneyland I offered to throw out everything in my suitcase if I was allowed to buy the fabled Yoda’s Dagobah House play set from a ten story Singaporean toy store. My parents said no – and they were right to do so. I should clearly have bought an AT-AT. [2]
My fondness for the Empire – the uniforms, the charismatic leaders, numerous cool items of military hardware, the conservative pan-galactic philosophy – was a perhaps, in retrospect, a precursor to my long-standing membership of the National Party. It is an understatement to say that I own a lot of Star Wars merchandise. I have a lightsaber bought on Norfolk Island, a C3PO toothbrush from Japan and any number of Battle Droid action figures on the grounds they are all better actors than Hayden Christensen.
Over the course of my lifetime, the only organisation that has taken more of my hard earned money than Lucasfilm is the New Zealand Inland Revenue Department. Growing up, I spent virtually all of my pocket money on what are now vintage Star Wars action figures at Riccarton Mall, including using the now defunct purchasing arrangement called lay-by. I’ve bought all the videos and DVDs, normal editions and special editions, even though Star Wars basically reached its peak during the Battle of Hoth in Empire Strikes Back. We all thought the Ewoks were the nadir but then George pulled out Jar Jar Binks and Midi-chlorians. Thanks George.
Despite having my wallet repeated pillaged by Rastafarian salamanders, entire movies about trade disputes and R2-D2 suddenly having numerous abilities and gadgets he seems to lose as he gets older, I know I’m going to see the next set of Star Wars films even though they are being made by Disney.
I’m encouraged by news that JJ Abrams may direct [3] and that stalwarts such as Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Harrison Ford [4], R2D2 and C3PO will be back. Watching the special edition Episodes IV-VI in theatres a few years back I was surprised that C3PO got the most laughs. I personally though Salacious Crumb was the funniest character in the trilogy despite lasting just half a film.
There are of course slight concerns about what Disney might do to the franchise. After all, they are the same studio which produced the Lone Ranger, Teen Beach Movie and Santa Paws 2: The Santa Pups, which means they have a somewhat shaky track record. [5] For every great series of Disney films – like the lovely Kim Possible – there are franchises which should never seen the light of day – think National Treasure. [6]
This week Colin the Handsome yet Softly Spoken Scottish Proprietor [7] instructed me to talk about some dark and decadent beers. Apparently he had foreseen it. In the course of researching this, I was outraged to find that the Star Wars quote which graces the title of this blog was incorrectly attributed on several websites to Darth Vader. That is lazy and wrong even by Internet standards. After working through that anger, it is time to talk about this week’s beers.
First up is Brew Moon Ole Mole (5%), undoubtedly one of the smallest breweries on the planet to feature in Stephen Beaumont and Tim Webb’s new guide The 2014 Pocket Beer Book. This beer is inspired by the classic Mexican dish “mole” – a broad term covering any number of modern sauces using chocolate and chilli. This beery version, made by my favourite brewery in Amberley, uses three chilli types and cocoa over a bock beer base to produce a hazy amber beer with a honey, chocolate nose. In the glass there is cocoa, caramel, chocolate, pepper, hot chilli, a touch of sweetness and spice (cinnamon). Ole Mole, which is one of the more polarising beers in New Zealand, debuted at Beervana and has been likened to Churros which are basically Spanish/Mexican doughnuts.
Next is Mata Taniwha (7%) from Aotearoa Breweries. This is an indigenous classic with a hangi pit used to cook malted barley, sweet kumara and potatoes which all end up in the beer. It is a copper beer – lighter in colour than I expected – with notes of smoke (bacon) and sweet (figs) before an earthy, almost capitalist finish which calls to mind whiskey, cigars, leather chairs and gerrymandering.
Third cab off the rank is Tuatara Dubbel (7.5% 25 IBU) which is one of the new Belgian beers Tuatara made while their Ardennes Ale took what turned out to be a pretty short hiatus. [8] Dubbel pours a deep red brown in the glass and this strong, velvet ale has a nose of dry cocoa powder and juicy raisins backed up by a body of chocolate, cocoa, plum, raisin, a hint of sour and a little trademark Belgian funk.
Tuatara Best Bitter (3.9%) is soon to be on tap. This English inspired session ale has a firm but simple malt base and plenty of Goldings and Fuggles hops. It has a caramel base with some floral, citrus and spicy notes over the firm bitterness. The brewers say it is an “English pint of Best” and “more British than Basil Fawlty.” [9]
Finally, mark your diary for 13 March 2014. All I can say is 45 beers, 2 bars, 1 Greg Koch, 1 day. I’ve had a sneak peak at the beer list for this event and just about electrocuted myself by drooling on the keyboard. More details to come when Colin relaxes the Cone of Silence.
Next time, we drink to Brendon McCullum becoming the first New Zealander in history to score a triple century and doing it on my beloved my Basin Reserve. [10]
[1] Lies. Unless 46 is the new 23. (edit by CTHYSSS)
[2] The All Terrain Armoured Transport (AT-AT) is the coolest vehicle every invented, narrowly beating the Jaguar XJ12, Blake’s 7 Liberator spaceship and Don Johnson’s Ferrari Testarossa from Miami Vice.
[3] This guy made Star Trek interesting – no mean feat in my book. I was always a Star Wars fanboy.
[4] The only actor in the originals who went onto have a movie career rather than endless rounds of rehab, Oprah and Robot Chicken.
[5] That is not even counting High School Musical 1 through 27, Cow Belles and Cheetah Girls 2 – because that film completely deserved a sequel.
[6] Or indeed pretty much any film with Nicholas Cage in it.
[7] Also known as Darth Haggis.
[8] I for one welcome the return of our Low Country Ale Overlord and promise to actually buy some this time so it does not get cancelled again.
[9] It should be noted that John Cleese completely powned Palmerston North within moments of arriving and continues to do so to this very day.
[10] I’d like to apologise to the Black Caps – I’ve turned up for exactly two days of live cricket this season and they have been undoubtedly the worst two days for them for this summer. Sorry lads.
Cheers
Beer Writer
Beer and Brewer Magazine
Cuisine Magazine
Links
Brew Moon Garden Café and Brewery – http://www.brewmooncafe.co.nz/
Mata/Aotearoa Brewing – http://www.mata.net.nz/
Tuatara Brewing Company – http://www.tuatarabrewing.co.nz/
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