Colin the Handsome Yet Softly Spoken Scottish Proprietor and Paymaster rang to discuss upcoming Malthouse blogs. It turns out the first beer he wanted covered was Croucher Nuclear Free ANZUS IPA. How handy, I said, I’ve just been reading about that for fun. [2]
The book in question is “Friendly Fire: Nuclear Politics and the Collapse of ANZUS 1984-1987” by Gerald Hensley.
Hensley is one of the important political figures you have probably never heard of and one of the best political writers you have probably not read. He was a diplomat who became head of the Prime Minister’s Department under both Sir Robert Muldoon and David Lange before becoming Secretary of Defence from 1991 to 1999. In addition to becoming a meticulous and well connected historian, his memoir – Final Approaches – is, in my opinion, the best single New Zealand political memoir and I’ve read literally shelves of them.
The only problem is that I’m currently up to page 88 and so far not a lot has really happened. Lange makes a public speech promising no nuclear weapons in New Zealand harbours, the Americans raise concerns, Lange tells the Americans he will find a solution, Labour party activists tell Lange to be more extreme, Lange tells Labour party activists he absolutely will, tells the Americans he absolutely won’t and tells his Cabinet colleagues absolutely nothing. [3] To tragic political nerds like this author, that’s all pretty interesting stuff actually.
However, more normal readers will find the most amusing snippets tucked away in the footnotes, a writing technique more common in beer writing than historical accounts which tend to use footnotes to show how many books the historian had to read. Here is a quick selection of footnotes from “Friendly Fire”:
Among unhappy campaign slogans, [Muldoon’s 1984 tag line “Who needs this man?”] was equalled only by “Nixon’s the One.”
Lange memorably described Mike Moore’s mind as “a pinball machine put together by a colour-blind electrician.”
[Lange’s quest for witticisms sometimes went too far such] as when he commented on the loss of the cruise ship Mikhail Lermontov in the Marlborough Sounds, that New Zealand was the only member of the Western alliance to have sunk a Soviet ship. Bill Hayden, Australia’s Foreign Minister, described [Lange’s book on the nuclear free movement] as “a work which is less sustainable as history than as entertainment.”
Launched at the Great Australasian Beer SpecTAPular in Melbourne, Australia in late May 2013, Croucher Nuclear Free ANZUS IPA (7%) has more in common with Hensley than perhaps even the brewers were aware. Paul and Nigel wrote that the beer was “our effort to repair relations between these three international super-powers. [4] While a Nuclear Free ANZUS military alliance didn’t work, the Nuclear Free ANZUS IPA with its heady blend of the best aroma hops from Australia, New Zealand and the USA sure does.”
“After a glass of this,” the brewers wrote. “it won’t be uranium they’ll be smelling on your breath.” This is a reference to Lange’s world famous ad-lib during the Oxford Union debate on nuclear power. However, it was not an off the cuff line. It was actually the very same Gerald Hensley who had found a British cartoon referring to ‘uranium on the breath’ months before the debate and had slipped it into Lange’s speech file. Lange always intended to use the line. Watching the debate carefully, it is clear that he is not even attempting to address the rather reasonable point being put to him by his young opponent. He just wanted to use the line which even today is still consistently misquoted as “I can smell the uranium on your breath.” [5]
On (finally) to the beer, it is only now becoming available on tap in New Zealand with bottles expected later in the year. In 2012, its predecessor Croucher ANZUS IPA was a low-alcohol IPA. [6] This year, it got much better and became a big zesty proper IPA with notes of caramel, citrus and – my spies tell me – apricot. I predict that this beer will not last nearly as long as the ANZUS crisis.
It is joined on tap at Malthouse by its colleague Croucher Coffee Stout (5.5%) which was previously but somewhat misleadingly known as Croucher Ethiopian Pale Ale. It is made with Ethiopian Yirgachefe coffee beans that Croucher roasted in their own commercial coffee roaster. [7] As the rarest of beasts – a Wellingtonian who does not drink coffee – I’m forced to defer to the expertise of others who confirm Yirgachefe is a big flavoured coffee bean and the generous measures used ensure that caffeine hit comes through in the final brew.
It is now less than two weeks to the 6th Annual Malthouse West Coast IPA Challenge – easily one of my favourite events of all time. On 12 July 2013, eleven brews will go head to head to find out which has made the best hoppy US-inspired ale, both according to the judges and according to the punters.
Details are still swathed in secrecy but I managed to extract the following information from Malthouse under the Official Information Act before they figured out that the legislation did not apply to them. A very impressive looking list of entries is expected from the following brewers/breweries (listed in alphabetical order):
Baylands, Black Dog, Croucher, an Epic/8 Wired collaboration, Fork & Brewer, Garage Project, Good George, Hallertau, Invercargill, Liberty, Moa, ParrotDog and Townshend. There will be more details next week.
Finally, a number of the team were out at the recent Capital Awards after Malthouse was voted a finalist in the outstanding bar and outstanding beverage selection categories. The staff were delighted to be recognised by their peers in the industry. Malthouse passes on sincere congratulations to our friends at fellow finalist Little Beer Quarter (outstanding bar) and category winners The Hop Garden (outstanding local establishment) and Hawthorn Lounge (outstanding bar and outstanding bar staff for Mr Peter Lowry)
Next time, we drink to The Civilian Blog – proof that you can be funny and clever about New Zealand politics.
[1] On reflection, I’m not sure I ever have an “average working day”.
[2] When it comes to books, my definition of fun may differ from most.
[3] As a long time diplomat and senior official, Hensley politely terms Lange’s approach as “two-handed diplomacy…”
[4] Technically, the United States is a super-power, Australia is a regional power and New Zealand is, in the words of David Lange, “a dagger pointed at the heart of Antarctica.”
[5] Winston Churchill famously said the secret of a spontaneous putdown is that all the best off-the-cuff remarks are prepared days beforehand.
[6] Croucher needs no low-alcohol IPA – their Low Rider is a fantastic mid-strength beer entirely on its own merits.
[7] They drink a lot of coffee, even for brewers.
[8] Guest speaker and local MP Grant Robertson clearly was not feeling overly hospitable when his speech ended up with him calling the Prime Minister a “dick”.
Cheers
Beer Writer
Beer and Brewer Magazine
Links
Croucher Brewery – http://www.croucherbrewing.co.nz
Great Australasian Beer SpecTAPular – http://gabsfestival.com.au/
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