For the record, Roger Moore would be third and David Niven would be dead last. [1] Niven was so bad in the 1967 film Casino Royale that it took nearly forty years for the producers to be brave enough to say “yeah, we really should make that film again but this time it shouldn’t suck so much.”

The result was the barnstorming debut of Daniel Craig as Bond in the 2006 version of Casino Royale. [2] One of the key scenes has Bond beating villain Le Chiffre in a high stakes card game. In the original Ian Fleming book they played baccarat and, despite me not really understanding the rules, the novel actually made the showdown quite compelling and exciting.

 However, the producers of the latest Casino Royale were not confident that modern audiences could follow baccarat and changed the game to Texas Hold Em Poker. This decision reflected the huge popularity of poker thanks in the main part to the World Series of Poker which is all over ESPN. Poker receives extensive media coverage due to the eye-watering amounts of money won by the contestants. Personally, I love poker and play reasonably regularly with friends with the stakes getting as high as $20 a night each. Yeah, they see us rolling, they hating. 

However, it is worth reflecting on the words of Samantha Bee who noted that “last year people won more than one billion dollars playing poker. And casinos made twenty-seven billion just by being around those people.” Paul Newman, who I have actually heard of unlike Ms Bee, said “if you’re playing a poker game and you look around the table and can’t tell who the sucker is, it’s you.” [3]
 
One person who is definitely not a sucker is Søren Eriksen, “a nomadic Danish brewer who has finally found permanent ground in Marlborough, New Zealand.” He is the head brewer at 8 Wired, a former Champion Brewery of New Zealand. Mr Eriksen is also a two time poker champion of New Zealand, winning over $100,000 in prize money. A few years ago I posted on Facebook that I was off to one of my $20 poker nights and Søren asked why he wasn’t invited. I replied that generally when I gave him all my money I actually liked to get some beer in return. 

8 Wired is currently contract brewing out of Renaissance Brewery in Blenheim and, increasingly, Steam Brewing Company in Auckland. Malthouse now has a “flush” of 8 Wired beers available. [4] The brewer says to “expect unique brews, expect ingenuity in flavour, expect new world interpretations of classic styles.”

On tap this weekend is 8 Wired Hopwired IPA (7.3%). Now, it is no secret I love this new world India Pale Ale. At 70 IBUs, it is a deceptively drinkable celebration of Kiwi hops (Southern Cross, Motueka and Nelson Sauvin) with a solid malt base supporting a veritable pyramid of hoppy goodness (grapefruit, resin, pine, passionfruit and fruit salad).  Please don’t drink it all before I get a few pints.   

There are a number of bottled 8 Wired products in the fridges too. The highly acclaimed 8 Wired Big Smoke (6.2%) is a smoked porter inspired by the Rauchbier style from Bamberg. It uses Bamberg Rauchmalz (beechwood smoked malt) to add depth and character to their already creditable porter.  Key flavour notes include coffee, smoke, chocolate ash and maybe a hint of bacon.  

Wellington’s weather has taken a serious turn for the worse and it may be time for some boisterously big black beers. 8 Wired iStout (10%) is – in the words of the brewer – a BIG beer. [5] It is full bodied and surprisingly bitter with a profile of coffee, chocolate, vanilla, leather and potentially a snifter of bourbon. 

One of the most challenging beers in the land is 8 Wired Grand Cru (11%) which is basically The Sultan (a sultana infused Belgian Quadrupel) which has been aged for over a year in Pinot Noir barrels with some funky yeasts (Brettanomyces and Pediococcus). Unsurprisingly, the resulting beer is deeply unusual with tasters reporting cherry, sour, quinine, funk, oak, armpit and red wine. I cannot improve on the comment of RateBeer commentator Pdubyah who called it “both weird and wonderful.” 

Moving away from implausibly punchy dark beers, 8 Wired Rewired (5.7%) is a brown ale. Søren says brown ales are “misunderstood” and “often overlooked”.  I would agree with “overlooked” but would argue that is the correct approach to this particular style of beer. While not quite as pointless as fruit beers, brown ales only really excite people who watch Coronation Street. 

However, I am professionally obligated to report the brewer’s comments that “it’s malty, hoppy, roasty, flavoursome and refreshing.”  I should not be too mean – every person drinking a bottle of Rewired is a person not drinking a pint of my beloved Hopwired. Carry on you cloth capped whippet lovers.

Now, 8 Wired Tall Poppy (7%) is an India Red Ale – a potentially made up style that I generally have no time for. However, I love this beer. It was a standout at a tasting session I ran with chefs Martin Bosley and Shaun Clousten while selecting beers for a beer and food matching show. It is the balance of this beer which makes it so memorable and versatile – caramel, oranges, earthy, creamy, bitterness, pine and maybe a suggestion of peach. Love it – love everything about it.

Colin the Handsome Yet Softly Spoken Scottish Proprietor has forcefully suggested that I mention the 8 Wired Dry Oaked Cider (8%). Now, I’m about as likely to drink cider as I am to watch New Zealand’s Got Talent [6] but I have to say there are a few aspects of this drink I admire – it has a properly robust alcohol content, it has been aged on French oak and it has no added sugar. Ciders should, in my view, be dry rather than sickly sweet. This is a dry cider of character.

The final offering in the 8 Wired range is the 8 Wired Saison Sauvin (7%). This traditional farmyard-style beer is funky, grassy, punchy, earthy and fruity with perhaps a promise of bruised banana. [7]

21 June is The Darkest Day – a celebration of dark beers at the Malthouse. The latest beer to be confirmed is Tuatara XI (10.5%), a huge barley wine. This very limited edition beer sold out quickly last year and will likely do so again. Approach responsibly.   

Next time, we drink to whatever cricketing god decided the New Zealand Black Caps should beat England by 86 runs and Australia lose to India by 243 runs all in the same week. [8]

[1] Any actor best known for being “The Pink Panther” is a poor choice for an international super spy and ladies man.

[2] Trivia Time: Daniel Craig was not born when the first Bond film was made. He is the first Bond to be younger than the franchise.

[3] My favourite poker quote did not fit into the article so it has been relegated to a footnote. Steven Wright said “last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.” 

[4] That was actually a remarkably clever poker pun.

[5] This must be an official brewing descriptor.

[6] How this show name has not been referred to the Advertising Standards Authority is beyond me…

[7] It should be reasonably obvious that I have not actually tried this beer.

[8] I’m hoping that particular god is not a bookmaker. What are the odds of that Hansie?

Cheers

Beer Writer
Beer and Brewer Magazine

Links

8 Wired Brewery – http://8wired.co.nz/
NZ Amateur Brewer: West Coast IPA Challenge – http://tinyurl.com/majndho
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Malthouse Twitter – www.twitter.com/#!/malthouse
Malthouse Taps on Twitter – www.twitter.com/#!/MalthouseTaps
Neil Miller on Twitter – http://www.twitter.com/#!/beerlytweeting
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