Best Books: Parliament of Whores (PJ O’Rourke), The Hobbit (JRR Tolkien) and Worth Fighting For (Dan Quayle).
Best Sports Teams: My Beloved Brisbane Broncos, Liverpool FC and Scotland Rugby.
Best Cured Meat Products: SPCA Blue Tick Streaky Bacon, SPCA Blue Tick Shoulder Bacon and any other SPCA Blue Tick bacon.
Best movies: Empire Strikes Back, Withnail & I and Scarface.
Best Bar Snacks: Deep Fried Haggis Stuffed Spicy Chicken Wings, Deep Fried Haggis on a Stick (Twitter Hashtag: #deepfriedhaggisonastick) and A Whole Roast Boar. [1]
Best Politicians: John Key, Boris Johnson and Todd McClay. [2]
Best James Bond: Sean Connery, Daylight then Daniel Craig.
Best New Zealand Writers: Gerald Hensley, Jane Clifton and Martin Bosley.
Best Television Shows: Game of Thrones, The Professionals and Blake’s Seven. [3]
Best New Zealand Prime Ministers: John Key, Keith Holyoake and David Lange. [4]
Best Sports: American Football, cricket and professional wrestling.
Best Stars you Secretly Want to Punch in the Face: Joffrey (Game of Thrones), Kim Kardashian (Anything with Kim Kardashian in it) and Mike King (Self Explanatory).
Best American Presidents: Ronald Reagan, Abraham Lincoln and Gerald Ford.
Best Songs: Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing, everything else is tied for second.
My favourite author [5] is the legendary PJ O’Rourke who has penned such classics as Parliament of Whores (“Our Government: What the f**k do they do all day and why does it cost so goddamned much money?”), Republican Party Reptile (“How to drive fast on drugs while getting wing-wang squeezed and not spill your drink”) and Age and Guile Beat Youth, Innocence and a Bad Haircut (“100 Reasons Jimmy Carter was a Better President than Bill Clinton”).
I have met the great man. He came to Auckland as the guest of the Centre for Independent Studies (CIS) and gave an after dinner speech about his latest book “On The Wealth of Nations”. His excellent, thought-provoking and hilarious oration about Adam Smith was called “Invisible Hand versus Visible Fist.”
After the speech, I went up to PJ to ask him to sign a couple of his books I had accidentally packed and taken up to Auckland. [6] With a flick of his magnificent mane, he turned, looked me dead in the eye and said “what can I do for you Neil?” Star struck worse than a Bieber fan, I stuttered “how did you know you know my name?” With a knowing nod he crushed my entire existence with five words – “it’s on your name tag.”
Despite this, if PJ O’Rourke was a beer he would still be my favourite beer. Which leads me (finally) onto the subject of today’s post: My favourite beer is Russian River Pliny the Elder (8%), a 100 IBU Double India Pale Ale from Santa Rosa, California, USA. Just 48 bottles [7] of fresh Pliny will be available from Malthouse starting lunchtime on Thursday 30 May. Due to limited supplies, there will be no takeaway purchases of this particular brew.
Pliny the Elder was, as everyone knows, a Roman scholar, historian, officer, writer, and the naturalist who first categorised hops – albeit as a medicinal herb rather than a key ingredient in beer. He was killed by the ash and smoke during the eruption of Mount Vesuvius in 79 AD while rescuing people but was later immortalised by the writings of his nephew Pliny the Younger. [8]
Pliny the Elder is the epitome of West Coast IPAs – it scores a perfect 100 at RateBeer for its balanced blast of grapefruit, pine, resin, citrus, sweet malt and mango before a deceptively bitter finish. It should be criminal that a beer this strong is so drinkable but instead it is a triumph of a brewer’s art. Please don’t buy it. I want to drink it all.
Live music Sunday takes a break this week because it is the NZ Amateur Brewer West Coast IPA Challenge. Home brewers are submitting their tributes to the hoppy pale ales of western USA and the winner will be entered into the famous Malthouse West Coast IPA Challenge on 12 July. There is a distinguished panel of judges (and me) with the judging starting at 2pm on Sunday and the official announcement moments after we make an informed decision. A lot of talented home brewers will be in the house and this is a great opportunity for those thinking about making beer at home to speak to the experts in the comfort of a fine bar over a pint of quality ale.
Finally, it is time to announce another of the beers which will be available for the Darkest Day Dark Beer Celebration on 21 June 2013 at Malthouse. It is the last keg of Epic Repocalypse (8.7%) – a US style heavily hopped (Zythos and Centennial) stout made with five types of malt at the Fork & Brewer. As a collaborative brew between Luke Nicholas, Lester Dunn and Malthouse – even Colin the Handsome Yet Softly Spoken Scottish Proprietor apparently did some real work.[9]
Next time, we drink to Commander Hadfield – my new fourth favourite Canadian.
[1] One of my great food influences is Obelix – that may explain some of the many issues when I go shopping for clothes.
[2] This is dependent on independent verification that Boris and Todd are in fact different people. If they are actually clones – as many already suspect – then Baroness Thatcher takes third spot.
[3] I’m on Team Avon.
[4] David Lange denies almost all the great things he did and takes unwarranted credit for policies he opposed.
[5] PJ narrowly wins ahead of (Sir) Jeremy Clarkson. The only thing tighter than Clarkson’s turn of phrase is his jeans.
[6] This is not fooling anyone. I’m a fanboy.
[7] Actual number may differ depending on how many I can afford to buy before people read this.
[8] Pliny the Younger is a 10% IIPA from the same brewery that I would basically kill anyone in the world to drink.
[9] This has not been confirmed. In unrelated news, I’m not being paid for this blog.
Cheers
Beer Writer
Beer and Brewer Magazine
Links
SPCA Blue Tick – https://www.facebook.com/SPCA.BlueTick
Pliny the Elder – http://russianriverbrewing.com/brews/pliny-the-elder/
PJ O’Rourke – http://www.pjorourke.com/
NZ Amateur Brewer: West Coast IPA Challenge – http://tinyurl.com/otqtdta
Commander Hadfield’s awesome song with the Bare Naked Ladies and a Glee Club – http://tinyurl.com/cmwfgtt
Malthouse Facebook – www.facebook.com/pages/Malthouse/7084276173
Malthouse Twitter – www.twitter.com/#!/malthouse
Malthouse Taps on Twitter – www.twitter.com/#!/MalthouseTaps
Neil Miller on Twitter – http://www.twitter.com/#!/beerlytweeting
Beer and Brewer Magazine – www.beerandbrewer.com/