He consumed all three meals a day from the Golden Arches, effectively eating the equivalent of 9.26 Big Macs on a daily basis.
In a single month, he put on 11 kilos, had mood swings, suffered “sexual dysfunction” and made a movie called “Supersize Me” about his experiences which grossed nearly $30,000,000 worldwide and was nominated for an Oscar.
One prescient movie reviewer noted that the film took exactly 100 minutes to make the single point that eating nothing but fast food was not good for you. It seemed surprising to most outside the Oscar Academy the revelation that eating an exclusive diet of junk food for thirty straight days was not healthy could in any way be considered award worthy.
After all, fundamentally too much of anything will kill you – that axiom applies whether it is too much water, too much oxygen or too much of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. Being harmful is pretty much the ultimate definition of what “too much” is. [1]
When I worked in Parliament, one Green MP wrote to a constituent on Parliamentary letterhead supporting the suggestion of a ban on the dangerous chemical compound Dihydrogen Monoxide – a colourless, odourless liquid which was apparently a “known causative component in many thousands of deaths and a major contributor to millions upon millions of dollars in damage to property and the environment.” Of course, Dihydrogen Monoxide is H20 which is better known as water. It turns out you can make anything seem pretty deadly with a bit of pseudo-scientific language and plenty of acronyms. [2]
“Supersize Me” makes the self-evident point that moderation and balance is important. Heck, even noted culinary authority The Cookie Monster has admitted – under some pressure – that “cookies are a sometimes treat.” [3] On that basis, large bottles of high alcohol beer can be a fantastically socialable treat when consumed appropriately, usually with groups of friends in fancy glasses over an extended period of time.
Currently, Malthouse has a number of sizable bottles of beers available for responsible enjoyment. One of the most famous and highly regarded beers in the world is Chimay Blue/Chimay Grand Cru (9%). Chimay is the best known Trappist brewery and this is their flagship beer. It is a rich dark beer with an aromatic and prickly nose of yeast, flowers, honey, malt and spices. In the mouth there is fruit (redcurrant) and spices (thyme, pepper, nutmeg) dancing along the lively bubbles.
This beer becomes more like a port as it ages and a selection of vintages is available on request (2006-2011). Malthouse is currently selling the deeply impressive 1.5 litre bottles and there is a single 6 litre bottle which is – to use the technical jargon – mind-boggling awesome. [4]
By contrast, the largest bottle of the legendary Duvel (8.5%) Strong Golden Belgian Ale on sale is a comparatively modest 3 litres. Now, I have helped quaff a few large Chimay bottles over the years but I actually have a 3 litre Duvel in the study just behind me.
Unsurprisingly, it is empty having been consumed with two good friends on a New Year’s Eve [5] many moons ago. The striking Duvel bottle still has pride of place in my admittedly large collection of breweriana. Brewing since 1871, this beer actually uses a descendent of the McEwans yeast bought back in a stone jug from Scotland by brewer Albert Moortgart during the period between the wars.
After tasting the first experimental batch, someone in the brewery remarked that it was “a devil of a beer” hence the Flemish corruption Duvel. Enormously complex to make, it pours with a massive head which throws a strong nose. Duvel has flavours of orange zest, pear brandy and green apples before a long dry finish. Beer writer Roger Protz was moved to note that “Where golden ales are concerned, the Duvel has all the best tunes…” [6]
The Malthouse fridges also contain large bottles of the incredibly rare Schneider Weisse Nelson Sauvin (7.3%). Not only is this a limited edition beer made to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the ABT cafes in Holland, it is a strong wheat beer (Weizen Bock) brewed with unique hops from Nelson, New Zealand. Wheat beers are generally lightly hopped so to utilise substantial amounts of a spicy, bitter New World hop like Sauvin produces an extra-ordinary flavour combination. Normally, I consider wheat beers to be like global warming – some people believe in them but I’m pretty sceptical – but this unusual hybrid beer had me hustling it into my shopping basket within 10 seconds. [7]
Finally, there is one of my admittedly many beer weaknesses – King Cobra (8%), a “superior strong lager” in a hugely distinctive jet black 750m champagne corked bottle which features two very cute golden elephants on the front. While standard Cobra is (at best) a supremely ordinary light Indian lager, King Cobra is a very different beast which is actually brewed in Belgium by the famous Palm Brewery.
Sadly it is no longer bottle conditioned. King Cobra pours a dusky gold with a lovely, lively, finely bubbled head. Those bubbles bounce happily off the tongue and convey the subtle hints of apple, orange and Belgian yeast. It is delicious drop and, let us be perfectly frank, elephants are cool – even if royalty and snakes are not.
Enjoy in moderation.
[1] Former President Bill Clinton would argue that the issue is far more complicated as it has to be established what the exact definition of “is” is.
[2] The media inexplicably decided this story was not news worthy but that the price of Tuku Morgan’s underpants before he was an MP was a matter of national interest.
[3] In the first US Presidential Debate, winner Mitt Romney indicated he would end federal funding for Sesame Street. While this was often characterised as a plan to “Fire Big Bird” that would be a heinous mis-underestimation of his plans. Romney simply intends to move Big Bird and his chums to a commercial or mixed ownership model where they can all be up to 17% more educational and 11% more efficient.
[4] And, it should be pointed out, $600.
[5] I never go out on New Year’s Eve because it can generally best be described as “Amateur Drinking Night”.
[6] This is usually too clever a joke to tell at most beer tastings. It is much better written down.
[7] I had gone to the supermarket to buy a single onion for a recipe I was in the process of cooking but ended up spending $40 on two bottles of beer – thanks to Schneider of Bavaria and Liberty Brewing Company of Taranaki.
Cheers
Beer Writer
Beer and Brewer Magazine
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