It discussed, among many other topics, a recently released beer called Pot Kettle Black, the “first offering from newcomers the Yeastie Boys.”
Today’s offering is the 153rd post to appear on this site and the blog has evolved and, hopefully, improved over the past few years. The writing style has become a little more energetic and a number of in-jokes have been established. That first post was so long ago that there were no references to Stu’s extraordinary pants or Sam’s noble haircut, Colin the Handsome yet Softly Spoken Scottish Proprietor was referred to as simply “Handsome Colin the Proprietor” and, tragically, there were no footnotes at all. [1]
One of the joys of blogging, apart from the informal dress code, is that I can write in a style which simply wouldn’t get published in reputable publications. The current media emphasis on content – rather than style – can be a double-edged sword. [2] Some of the pure joy of writing, of word play, of vocabulary, of evocation, can be lost.
In the flurry of very dry and often dull newspaper headlines over the holiday period, one truly stood out:
“Skies awash with escaping Christmas sharks.”
This front page article from the Dominion Post backed up the breathless headline by reporting “New Zealand’s skies are infested with inflatable sharks, with the radio-controlled toys reported to have escaped from homes as far apart as Auckland and Riverton.” [3]
It certainly amused me, in part because the headline was so different from the journalistic norm today. By stressing the need for succinctness – ostensibly to cater for our modern short attention spans – we can miss out. As an example, would Pat Lawlor’s 1965 beer book have been more interesting if it had the utilitarian title “Lawlor on Beer” or, as he wisely chose, “The Froth-Blowers’ Manual: Some Confessions, Some Beer Ballads, A Dash of History, Froth of Personalities and An Encyclopaedia”?
In an early passage, Lawlor spends nearly a page describing every facet of tasting his very first beer:
“I was nineteen years of age when I had my first beer. The memory is etched in my mind. I was a ‘cub reporter’ and was doing the rounds per bicycle with another young pressman. The weather was uncomfortably warm. We halted at a place known as Bellevue or Lodder’s Garden attached to which was a hotel owned by Mr A. Lodder.
A great thought came to my mind. Once more, Charles Dickens was the inspiration. I remember Dick Swiveller’s ‘Modest Quencher.’ [4] As we propped our bicycles against a nearby tree, I felt I was embarking on the most wicked adventure it was possible for the mind of man to conceive.
The barmaid eyed us suspiciously, but pumped up the answer to our request without comment. We did not dream of suggesting a second one, so, a few minutes later were pedalling on our way.
Shortly the marvellous thing happened. A strange, irresistible imp of joy entered mind and body, a great and glorious contentment crept over us, the trees and grass came up to us in a cleaner more colourful beauty, every small branch was exquisitely revealed, a new energy set me furiously pedalling on my machine, happy riotous thoughts coursed through my mind.
I turned to my companion. He was also pedalling vigorously. A minute later we had thrown our bicycles to the ground and were laughing and gloating over the secret we had discovered. I remember one lone cloud lazing across the blue sky above us as we chattered on. It was free to roam, as light and airy as our very thoughts.
My first beer! Could I but recapture that hour!”
Tragically, I certainly doubt I could replicate such literary prowess by retelling the tale of my first beer. It was a can of slightly warm Rheineck at a house party in Tawa. On the whole, that particular hour can probably go on being uncaptured. The only noteworthy event that night was that while walking home the local Police seemed unconvinced that I was not hiding a television set under my rather tragic jean jacket. It appeared I was the prime suspect because – and I am not making this up – I was the “only person they had seen since the report of the burglary came in.”
The Malthouse has resumed normal opening hours and a number of new and unusual beers are scheduled to come on tap in the coming weeks and months. More details will be provided in future blogs, Facebook updates and Twitter notices. To end this first post of the New Year, I defer again to the evocative writings of Mr Lawlor:
“It is a sublime experience for an ardent beer lover to taste once more a pot of beer with a tongue that is perfectly clean, as sensitive as a microphone, to the tang of the hops, the velvety insinuations of the malt, the combination of the ineffable properties of perfectly brewed beer.” [5]
[1] Since their inception, the footnotes have the most commented on, most popular and most emulated aspect of the blog.
[2] This has always been a somewhat odd expression as a double-edged sword would appear, to most people at least, to be much more useful than a single edged sword.
[3] A worrying number of adult Kiwis seem surprised that an object filled with helium is lighter than air.
[4] He may have remembered it but it took Google for me to find out that it is a passage from Dickens’s “The Old Curiosity Shop.”
[5] For the record, “The Velvety Insinuations of the Malt” would be an excellent name for a rock band. [6]
[6] This is the second Dave Barry reference in this post and also the first time I have footnoted a footnote – though a guest correspondent in a People’s Blog has done so previously.
Cheers
Real Beer New Zealand
Beer and Brewer Magazine
Links
First Malthouse blog post – http://www.themalthouse.co.nz/index.php/blog/55-the-beer-blog
Malthouse Facebook – www.facebook.com/pages/Malthouse/7084276173
Malthouse Twitter – www.twitter.com/#!/malthouse
Malthouse Taps on Twitter – www.twitter.com/#!/MalthouseTaps
Neil Miller on Twitter – www.twitter.com/#beerlytweeting
Real Beer – www.realbeer.co.nz
Beer and Brewer Magazine – www.beerandbrewer.com/