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The seemingly obvious relationship between craft beer drinking males and facial hair has proved to be probably the most popular and controversial theme raised by this humble blogger in 2014.
The earlier blog post “Beer Beard Beer” [1] talked about bearded heroes, bearded villains and, eventually, beer. Several of those mentioned in the post denied having a beard, denied ever shaving their beard or claimed their follicled antics were all a youthful indiscretion [2]
There was also debate about whether The Beer Giraffe Andrew Child’s scraggly chinstrap counted as a beard. After considering both sides of the argument, I made the executive decision that it did – because that was funnier. The broader question of whether we have reached “peak beard” as a society has already become so obvious that Stuff covered it - though they preserved their reputation by referring to beards as a “new follicle-based fad”. Because, you know, no guy in history ever had a beard until, like, a year ago.
Today I turn my sights on moustaches and craft beer. [3] This week’s game-changing topic is the mega-multi-repeat award winning brewery Renaissance. As alert readers will be aware, Renaissance head brewer Andy Deuchars sports a handlebar moustache that would make former US President and Chief Justice William Howard Taft say “bully, that is quite an impressive upper lip adornment good sir!” [4]
If you know only two things about moustaches, know this. Former State Governor, SEAL and professional wrestler Jesse Ventura said “my moustache made me look more like a villain. A good moustache can give you the look of the devil.” In contrast, founding star of That 70s Show, inventor of Punk’d and until recently arm candy for Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher said “I can't grow a moustache. It's pretty sad if I attempt to.” Case closed.
Over the ages, many great men sported fine moustaches including Martin Luther King Jr, Tom Selleck, Genghis Khan, Eddie Murphy, Errol Flynn, Ron Burgundy, Ron Jeremy, Albert Einstein, Jaime from Mythbusters, Ming the Merciless, Lorenzo Bresolin, The Swedish Chef and Freddie Mercury
Sadly, others have let down their mouth merkin brethren. Infamous moustaches include Adolf Hitler, Michael Laws, Kaiser Wilhelm, Murray McCully, Peter de Villiers, Yosemite Sam, Grant Riddell, [5] Joseph Stalin, Saddam Hussein, Salvador Dali and Andrew Childs. [6]
At the recent Australian International Beer Awards (AIBA), Blenheim’s Renaissance Brewing Company was announced as the Champion Small International Brewery for the second year in a row. A picture of a magnificently moustached Head Brewer Andy Deuchars brandishing the trophy featured prominently in the AIBA release. Renaissance became the only New Zealand brewery to win that award twice and the only one to concurrently hold the accolades of Champion Brewery (Brewers Guild NZ) and Champion Small International Brewery (AIBA). Congratulations, champs!
Malthouse hosted the recent launch of Renaissance Craftsman Chocolate Oatmeal Stout (4.9%) and it is currently on tap at Malthouse. This much-anticipated beer has been released in limited amounts annually since 2009. In addition to the use of oatmeal to fill out the already smooth mouthfeel, Craftsman uses cocoa nibs both in the boil and fermentor, ensuring rich chocolate and coffee notes.
Andy Deuchars has said “I’m a chocoholic – a real chocoholic. Brian [Thiel – his partner in Renaissance] thinks it is totally unfair that I can eat chocolate all day and never put on weight.” [7] Craftsman has been described as black with a tan head, notes of medium-roasted coffee, dark chocolate, burnt toast, caramel, vanilla and stonefruit.
Also on draught is one of the Enlightenment series of limited edition beers, Renaissance Biere de Garde (8.5%). This Low Country inspired “beer to keep” has been aged for over four months in chardonnay and gewürztraminer wine barrels. The resulting hazy chestnut brown ale has notes of honey, sourness, juicy fruit, biscuity malt, oak and a long bitterness. This is a rare chance to enjoy this beer from the tap.
There are three more Renaissance beers in the fridges. Renaissance Discovery APA (4.5%) uses New Zealand hops (Cascade and Willamette) to produce a punchy, fruity ale with notes of citrus, grapefruit, pine, resin and caramel. Renaissance Elemental Porter (6%) is dark and viscous with hints of chocolate, coffee, molasses, grass, dark stone fruit, wet earth, spice and vanilla.
One of the most complicated beers ever made in New Zealand is Renaissance Stonecutter Scotch Ale (7%) which utilises a staggering nine malts, including a smattering of the Scottish smoked peat malt which makes Yeastie Boys Rex Attitude so divisive. Stonecutter pours black with ruby highlights and contains a complex blend of coffee, chocolate, toffee, vanilla, liquorice, oak, plum, whisky, tobacco and leather notes. It brings to mind a Victorian gentleman’s dining room with a roaring fire and lashings of political intrigue.
On 20 June and 21 June Malthouse will be running the Darkest Days event which is a celebration of dark ales. The full list of beers will be announced here shortly but I can reveal that there will be 2012 and 2013 vintages of Renaissance’s acclaimed Tribute Barley Wine. They will join the last of this year’s Craftsman stout.
Next time, we drink to on-line polls. Because they are always accurate, right?
[1] A Withnail and I reference. I apologise to all readers who perhaps justifiably feel I have overdone the Star Wars motif since May the Fourth. That sentence would be a lot more believable if I had not typed it while wearing a Star Wars Day wristband and looking at my Angry Birds AT-AT playset.
[2] Naming no names... Stephen Beaumont.
[3] “Mustaches” for some of my North American readers. I love y’all.
[4] Taft remains the only man to ever hold the roles of US President and Chief Justice. The one person who I think might equal that achievement is Steven Seagal. Now we play the waiting game...
[5] An old friend who has pretty much ruined Movember for everyone with his terrible, terrible moustaches.
[6] Just as Taft was the only man to ever hold the roles of US President and Chief Justice, Andrew Childs becomes the only man to ever be named in the Malthouse Blog’s list of Worst Beards and Worst Moustaches in History. In fact, he has achieved this milestone just a day after trimming his terrible ‘beard’ into a ‘moustache’ so bad that it would have made a young moustached Robert Downey Jr on cocaine vomit with rage.
[7] He may not be the only one!
Cheers
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Neil Miller
Beer Writer
Beer and Brewer Magazine
Cuisine Magazine
Links
Malthouse Blog: Beer Beard Beer - http://www.themalthouse.co.nz/blog/402-beer-beard-beer
Renaissance Brewing Company - http://www.renaissancebrewing.co.nz/default.aspx
Facebook: Darkest Day - https://www.facebook.com/events/699925956730960/
Malthouse Facebook - www.facebook.com/pages/Malthouse/7084276173
Malthouse Twitter – www.twitter.com/#!/malthouse
Malthouse Taps on Twitter – www.twitter.com/#!/MalthouseTaps
Neil Miller on Twitter – http://www.twitter.com/#!/beerlytweeting
Beer and Brewer Magazine - www.beerandbrewer.com/
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