|Send the last Scottish beer homeward – tae think again|
|Wednesday, 01 February 2017 16:36|
Now, everyone knows that I am not one to gloat when I am right – partly because it happens so rarely – but I was about the Wellington Sevens last weekend. In recent McMalty blogs I had repeatedly touted the power of the current Scottish Sevens rugby squad, and pointed out their august place above New Zealand in the rankings – partly because that situation is even rarer than me being right.
It would not be unfair to note that I received several responses indicating, in language of various strengths, that my skill as a rugby pundit was “sub-optimal” and my optimism “over-optimal”. These were at the polite end of the commentary spectrum as this is a wholesome family blog.
However, the results do not lie.  New Zealand finished fifth while Scotland, by downing Mighty Canada in a pulsating bronze medal game, ended up third. Third is better than fifth which ultimately means “I was right.” I knew I have should have put a lazy fiver on my bold but ultimately prescient prediction. 
I watched a couple of the rugby games but, like most people, I was not at Wellington Stadium.  Instead, I was sitting at a (shock horror) different table in Malthouse and enjoying the final official day of the “Lift Up Your Kilt – Scottish Session.” The Scottish Session was a rollicking celebration of Scottish culture, fashion, food and beer. Hopefully it becomes an annual fixture on the Malthouse beer calendar. If the diary is getting too crowded they could always drop Sourfest...
The carefully crafted plan for Sunday was to drink Scottish craft beer, enjoy a Lorne sausage sandwich and some deep fried haggis balls, then watch the Scots beat the English. It almost worked. This the time the beer was in the house and the lads won the rugby against the Auld Enemy, but the Lorne sausage, haggis balls and black pudding had all been utterly consumed the night before. Strangely, there were apparently “plenty” of deep fried Mars Bars left. 
I consoled myself with a Double IPA (Marmalade on Rye), a bowl of haggis, some tatties, and victory. It was a pretty good consolation prize overall. I also learned the bitter lesson that thinking longingly about a delicious Lorne sausage sandwich all morning will not make one magically appear. In terms of my health, this is almost certainly a very good thing.
Despite my heroic efforts toasting Scottish victories, there are still a few Scottish craft beers on tap this week and a couple of Epic classics making appearances soon. Here is the current list (with my comments in brackets where applicable):
Up Front Brewing
Despite the impressive Scottish craft beer list, I did see a surprising number of punters enjoying the big cans of Tennent’s Lager and the normal sized cans of IRN-BRU. Given that stark choice, give me Tennent’s every time thanks.
Closer to home, Malthouse’s last keg of Epic Saint Luke Milestone Ale (7%) will be on shortly. Luke Nicholas explained that he designed the beer to mark the 20th anniversary of his first day as a brewer - January 17, 1997 - when he started at now defunct Cock & Bull as an assistant to Ben Middlemiss. He added:
On the way is some Epic Appocolypse Black IPA (6.8%) but is unlikely to be pouring before next week. We may have a more in-depth look at this inky libation in next week’s post, or I might spend the entire column yelling about Donald Trump. That does seem to be quite fashionable these days.
Next time, we drink to the new Han Solo movie which has just started shooting. Finish it, change the name from the terrible placeholder “Red Cup”, then just hurry up and take my money.
 Until they are over-turned on a doping conviction or match-fixing scandal of course.
 Going to the TAB and demanding large payments because “you knew it all along but forgot to bet” is universally unsuccessful. Well, it has been for me so far.
 Don’t get me started on an epic “don’t call it the Cake Tin” rant. My views on this issue are well-known and, well, correct.
 I did not see any being eaten but I am assured they were eaten and enjoyed by those with a sweet tooth and robust dental plan.
 Mathematicians suggest the concept of me getting “enough” Monk’s Habit is an entirely theoretical construct and could never happen in this universe.
Beer and Brewer Magazine
Lift Up Your Kilt - https://www.facebook.com/events/1888943308005348/
Tempest Brewery - https://www.tempestbrewco.com/
Up Front Brewery - http://www.upfrontbrewing.com/beer/
Drygate Brewery - http://drygate.com/
Malthouse Facebook - www.facebook.com/pages/Malthouse/7084276173
Malthouse Twitter – www.twitter.com/#!/malthouse
Malthouse Taps on Twitter – www.twitter.com/#!/MalthouseTaps
Neil Miller on Twitter – http://www.twitter.com/#!/beerlytweeting