Several brewing nicknames I created have caught on – The Impish Brewer for Luke Nicholas of Epic [1], The Beer Giraffe for Andrew Childs of Behemoth Brewing, [2] and Colin the Handsome yet Softly Spoken Scottish Proprietor for Colin Mallon at Malthouse.

The last one actually started as a joke after a local newspaper article described him as “softly spoken”. He said later over a beer – “I would have preferred ‘handsome’.” Today, I still get asked if I really do think Col is handsome. My usual reply – “He is exceptionally good looking when he is pouring me a beer or signing my pay cheque.”

I do like to share quotes from my favourite beer authors such as Stephen Beaumont, Pete Brown and Michael Donaldson, because they are quite simply better writers than me. Homer Simpson appears often, and Jeremy Clarkson only a little less so.

The footnotes are probably the most popular part of the blog and were unashamedly inspired [3] from Pete Brown, particularly “A Man Walks into a Bar” – still the funniest beer book in my library. In recent years, every blog ends with “next time we drink to…” which was inspired [4] by Epic Meal Time, a crazy Canadian on-line cooking show with lashings of bacon and booze.

I find it impossible to write about David Cryer without mentioning his magnificent mane of hair. Similarly, no reference to Jules van Cruysen is complete without a reference or two to whatever ludicrous facial hair he is sporting this week. Those wondering why I made constant requests for Ron Trigg at mike’s to make a “Commando Ale” – well, it is because he dislikes wearing underwear. [5]

While I almost always compliment Sam Possenniskie (Directive Creator at Yeastie Boys) on his glorious fringe, there is no doubt that I talk about the colourful trousers of Stu McKinlay (Creative Director at Yeastie Boys) a lot. I did try a Google search for me talking about Stu’s pants but the results were so many and so disturbing I almost took a protection order out – against myself.

All of this is a long tangential introduction [6] to the real point of this blog – Stu McKinlay is coming to Malthouse, there will be music and beer matching, and one lucky punter will win a pair of Mr McKinlay’s magical pantaloons. Hope he is not wearing them at the time…

Here are the details – from 7pm on 8 September 2016, Malthouse will host the first Yeastie Boys Beer and Music Raffle. From 7pm, DJ Don Luchito from Radio Active will play 24 songs which in some way match one of the eight Yeastie Boys beers on tap. Stu will be making a rare appearance in New Zealand and is promising/threatening to “cut some moves” during the “set.”

It is basically three songs for each brew hidden amongst a 3 hour set and the first punter to correctly name and explain the beer/music match gets some sweet Yeastie Boys merchandise and a ticket for the raffle. At 11pm, the raffle is drawn. The prizes include more hot Yeastie Boys swag, and, finally, the Holy Grail of Beer Related Fashion Statements That You Wear On Your Legs, a pair of Stu’s Talismanic Trousers.

Now, a very quick rundown of the eight beers on tap for this definitely different event:

Yeastie Boys Pot Kettle Black – A hoppy American style porter allegedly made (in part) to get me to like hoppy dark beers. It has not quite succeeded – but it has got closer than every other hoppy dark beer. A true classic and still the Yeastie’s flagship brew.

Yeastie Boys Gunnamatta – A tea infused pale ale made, I believe, (in part) to enrage me. I am not convinced by tea in beer generally but I may be wrong. Gunnamatta has a cult-like following.

Yeastie Boys Minimatta – Stu: “Sam, how can we irritate Neil today?” Sam: “Well, we could take that tea beer he is always ranting against and make a lower alcohol version.” Well, that backfired as I really love this beer. The tea is more subtle and overall the balance is spot on.

Yeastie Boys Stair Dancer – This beer is generally believed to be a nod to Sam’s previous exotic dancing career. When it is not shaking its money maker, Stair Dancer is a rather lovely Pacific IPA.

Yeastie Boys What’cha Want – The name of this beer is generally believed to have been inspired by the under-stated but friendly hospitality of Glasgow. My understanding is that the sequel to this Super Pale Ale will be called “Yeastie Boys What You Looking At Pale Ale?” Unlike most of the statements in this beer list, Yeastie Boys seriously do claim What’cha Want is “the official beer of professional wrestler Hacksaw Jim Duggan.” [7]

Yeastie Boys Divine Hammer – This one I am sure of. This beer is almost certainly named after MC Hammer, who is on record as describing Stu’s trousers as “a bit of the over the top.” It is a Rye Amber Ale and pours a deep red hue reminiscent of some pants I have seen somewhere before…

Yeastie Boys Digital IPA – In all seriousness, this is absolutely my got-to Yeastie Boys beer in the standard range. A juicy, balanced, quenching Pacific IPA,

Yeastie Boys White Noise – Cloudy, slightly spicy, refreshing White Ale. Perfect after “cutting some moves” on the famous Malthouse dance floor – which is more commonly simply called “the floor”.

The title of this week’s blog is a quotation from me after a quick Google search revealed that I have spent an inordinate and disproportionate amount of my life writing about Stu McKinlay’s trousers.

Next time, we drink to bean bag golf. It is a game of skill and finesse which can be played while drinking a beer. This year, I fully hope to sink my first bean bag and actually register a point. There are only so many times you can claim nil-all as a victory because your opponent got bored and one of your bean bags was slightly closer to the hole when he quit.

 

[1] Imps are “small but evil.”

[2] No explanation needed for that one. He is a big unit.

[3] Read: “Stolen”.

[4] Read: “Also Stolen”.

[5] If I have to live with this knowledge, all my readers should have to as well.

[6] Actually, long tangential Clarksonesque introductions would definitely be a recurring theme for this blog.

[7] Beyond the Yeastie Boys’ claim in the Beervana 2016 brochure, I can find no documentary evidence to support this assertion. However, it does appear that I have written about beer and Mr Jim Duggan several times before.

 

Cheers

Neil Miller

Beer Writer

Beer and Brewer Magazine

Cuisine Magazine

TheShout Magazine

Links

Facebook Event – Yeastie Boys Beer and Music Raffle – https://www.facebook.com/events/298226243875794/

Yeastie Boys – http://www.yeastieboys.co.nz/

Malthouse Facebook – www.facebook.com/pages/Malthouse/7084276173

Malthouse Twitter – www.twitter.com/#!/malthouse

Malthouse Taps on Twitter – www.twitter.com/#!/MalthouseTaps

Neil Miller on Twitter – http://www.twitter.com/#!/beerlytweeting