but this year well over half of the hosting Westpac Stadium [2] remains unsold just days away from kick off.

Mind you, in recent times the event has been a complete sell out both days but there were so many empty seats it often looked like Eden Park during a Colin Craig poetry reading. That is because hordes of official ticket holders were partying and disrobing in the stadium concourse, or never even made it close to the stadium.

The party atmosphere had eclipsed the actual sporting event to the extent that some games were being played in front of 200 spectators. They would have gotten bigger crowds in Canada or Kenya – the two teams playing at the time. Now, I’m not averse to alcohol at sporting events (I watch Test Cricket for example and I’m not doing that stone cold sober) but the Sevens had gotten out of hand.

What really “grinds my gears” [3] is that the Sevens seemed to get a free pass from the rules which govern other venues. They had “time out” zones which a bar cannot legally have, and Police excused a lot of the poor behaviour on the grounds – literally – that people ‘had been drinking before they came in.’ Yeah, good luck using that defence if you are a bar on Cuba Street, Courtenay Place or even Taranaki Street.

This year, to their credit, the organisers, the Council, the Stadium and the Police have signalled a much tougher line on antisocial behaviour. As a result, ticket sales have dropped by over 60% indicating that most recent attendees were there for the party not the game. I think this move is a necessary (and overdue) correction, albeit one which may see the tournament head outside Wellington for a while. The Auckland Nines, it pains me to say it, has shown us the future.

Now, I’ve been to over half a dozen Sevens tournaments in Wellington, most during the early years. Yes – this is indeed a most rare occurrence of me going to something at the height of its popularity instead of discovering it years later. [4] Just the other day I was wearing a Hawaiian shirt in the Wellington heat only to notice it had tiny Lion Red logos hidden amongst the foliage which I got from a corporate box at one of the first tournaments.

I went to the very first Sevens wearing matching Hawaiian shirts with a mate. We were mocked by others. Now, unless you have 12 Batmen or 24 Wonder Women to back you up then you are a social outcast. However, I predict Hulk Hogan costumes will be less popular this year. I recall doing a beer tour for some Americans off a cruise ship during one Sevens weekend and trying, in vain I expect, to explain that Wellington was not always like this…

Anyway, the bottom line is that Malthouse will be open as normal and normal behavioural standards will apply. That means well-behaved ticket holders and others wanting to watch the games on the various screens will be welcome. Similarly, those looking for a little craft beer sanctuary will be welcome. After all, many of those traditional Sevens fans who have not bought a ticket are going to put on the Lycra (at best) and have to go somewhere… Go somewhere safe.

In the spirit of the Sevens, because overall it has been a great tourism attraction for Wellington for many years, here are seven beers on tap at Malthouse this week that you should “try”. [5] It should be noted that the beers were recommended by Unit Manager Ciaran “Sexiest Dance Moves Since Halena left” Duffy. I take no responsibility for them. In turn, Colin the Handsome Yet Softly Scottish Malthouse Proprietor takes no responsibility for these blog posts – except in a legal sense of course. [6]

Saison Dupont (6.5%) – My first craft beer style love was actually Belgian beers – particularly Chimay and Westmalle. This was an unfortunate fit with my student income but I cut back on luxuries like fashionable clothes, good music and having a girlfriend. It pours cloudy (as it should), with a challenging nose of orange, spice and the southern end of a north bound horse. Funky, fresh and popping – exactly like I imagined myself on the dance floor while at university. [7]

Behemoth In Your Face Double IPA (9%) – Even I cannot joke about this beer as it is one of the most delicious yet heart-breaking brews I have ever tasted. Here is what I wrote in October when I first tasted it:

“Most readers will be familiar with the tragic brewing accident which saw Behemoth brewer Andrew Childs and 8 Wired brewer Jason Bathgate badly burned over a month ago. This is the beer they were making at the time.

It takes a huge measure of courage to release a beer which caused such pain, and even more to call it “In Your Face”. The nose and flavours are huge and delicious – pine, grapefruit, caramel – but I could not help but reflect on the tragedy behind the brew. It is literally one of the most bittersweet beers I’ve ever tasted. In Your Face is also the most poignant drink I’ve had since Three Boys After Shock – a beer brewed literally during a natural disaster.”

Beavertown/Boneyard Power of Voodoo Triple IPA (10%) – A trans-Atlantic collaboration looking to make a beer like Pliny the Elder and they end up coming freaking close. Wait, I retract my recommendation – leave this one all to me! I’m the babe with the power…

Three Boys Pils (5.5%) – This is one of the best and most reliable Kiwi Pilsners made by the always dapper and erudite Doctor Ralph Bungard in Christchurch. Notes of pine, resin and intellect abound.

ParrotDog BitterBitch (5.8%) – It is fair to say I have a bit of a beer crush on this brew but, in my defence, I liked it before it was really famous. Coming from troubled beginnings, this New Zealand Pale Ale is now their flagship with notes of grapefruit, caramel and everyone in the brewery being called “Matt”.

BrewDog Cocoa Psycho (10%) – Let’s be honest, when BrewDog – who are my favourite Scottish lunatics after Billy Connelly, Frankie Boyle and Colin – call something “Psycho” it is going to be a little out there. This is “taking a holiday in Penrith by accident” out there. [8] It is a Russian Imperial Stout containing crushed coffee beans, cacao nibs, dark malts, vanilla pods and toasted oak chips. The brewers own official tasting notes say “we recommend drinking it from a stemmed beer glass before taking a sledgehammer to a Faberge egg.” [9]

Horse Box Black Stallion Milk Stout (5%) – I will be honest that I am little torn about this beer. It is from a new (2015) brewery with a pretty great reputation but there is no way “Stallion” and “Milk” should be in the same beer title. YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG! That said, it is a very pleasant choc lately stout and the image on the tap badge means I can yell out “Picture of a Horse” and get ten points.


Next time, we drink to David Bowie. Let’s dance, sir.


[1] I am convinced the organisers changed it from “Sevens” to “Rugby Sevens” to remind fans that there was an actual sporting event associated with festivities.


[2] Wellingtonians do not call it the Cake Tin.


[3] Trademark Peter Griffin and Calum Wallace.


[4] Refer to: Journey, “Don’t Stop Believing”.


[5] See what I did there? Shades of the great Murray Mexted.


[6] This fascinating legal concept has now forced him to read my blogs before posting them.


[7] Viewer experiences may have differed from what is claimed here.


[8] A “Withnail and I” movie reference to change things up. Ironically, the only thing they don’t drink in the film is beer.


[9] Malthouse contains no Faberge Eggs (apart from the one Macka has obviously) and does not endorse this kind of behaviour. However, please post any videos shot outside of the premises to our Facebook page.


Cheers


Neil Miller

Beer Writer

Beer and Brewer Magazine

Cuisine Magazine

TheShout Magazine

New Zealand Liquor News Magazine


Links

Malthouse Facebook – www.facebook.com/pages/Malthouse/7084276173

Malthouse Twitter – www.twitter.com/#!/malthouse

Malthouse Taps on Twitter – www.twitter.com/#!/MalthouseTaps

Neil Miller on Twitter – http://www.twitter.com/#!/beerlytweeting