If only I could do the same for sports betting… [1] That is not to say I know a particular lot about cider though I have learned a fair bit interviewing artisan cider makers for various magazine articles.
Probably my favourite piece of cider writing is by Tom Hickman in his excellent book “Drink – A Users Guide”. He traces the historical rise of cider, a fermented alcoholic beverage made from fruit, in this case usually apples. He described cider as being “unique… neither wine (though made like wine) nor beer (though drunk like beer) and produced in as wide a variety of styles as either.”
He argues that the ancient Egyptians may have been the first to drink cider (“they thought of pretty much everything else”), English Saxons in Kent were swigging cider as early as 55BC, the Romans then took the drink across their Empire, and Julius Caesar was a huge cider fan.
I was previously unaware that cider played a profound role in the creation of an independent America. According to Hickman, the revolutionaries who committed the Boston Tea Party actually boarded a second English ship carrying cider. However, rather than tipping the cider into the sea as they had done with the tea on the first ship, that precious cargo was taken home to drink. Sometimes practicality tops principle. [2]
This year, Malthouse becomes Ciderhouse will run from Friday 15 January to Friday 22 January 2016 (or while stocks last). It is an annual event which celebrates everything about cider with a massive rotating tap takeover by ciders of all descriptions, some of which are quite rare.
There will be ciders available from Peckham’s, Good George, Zeffer, Forbidden, Hallertau, Two Thumbs and a couple of surprises during the week. The ciders showcase ingredients such as lots of different types of apples (obviously), blackcurrant, elderflower, Doris Plums, hops (yay!), and even some barrel aging. [3]
The vast majority of my research library is, perhaps unsurprisingly, books about beer. I wracked my brains to think of a food writer who might have covered cider. Strangely, cider appears to the only alcoholic beverage in the world that Anthony Bourdain does not drink.
Then I recalled Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall’s legendary cider drinking contests with his local cider society on his show “River Cottage”. I have a copy of his entertaining (and occasionally challenging) book “Hugh Fearlessly Eats It All”. My purchase was clinched I read on the back cover that one critic previewed his show “Cook on the Wild Side” by saying “Hairy Hugh dredges up more muck from the canal for his grubby cooking pot.” [4]
Sadly, despite covering topics as diverse as aphrodisiacs, biltong, donkey salami, Fawlty Towers, maggots, pub food, rail food, Gordon Ramsay, brain curry, wine and umo-sho bancha, cider does not appear in this tome. However, I did find a piece about becoming a food writer which certainly has parallels with becoming a beer writer.
Hugh notes: “I am aware that some people are now of the opinion that I have the perfect job. And I am aware that, on all the available evidence, their opinion seems well founded. Writing and broadcasting about something I love, and consequently getting to spend my life discovering it, sampling it, growing it, producing it and consuming it, eventually elicits that embarrassed cliché with which one tries to mask deep smugness with a dose of sarcastic self-effacement: ‘It’s a rough job but someone’s got to do it. Ha-ha-ha-ha!’”
He then adds: “Asked recently by another journalist for a one-word description of me, a good friend, after not much pause for thought I suspect, came up with ‘jammy’, [5] and I can hardly disagree.”
Finally, continuing on the book theme, I received an incredible shock this week when I read something by PJ O’Rourke that I did not agree with. Alert readers will be aware that American satirist PJ O’Rourke is probably my favourite author of all time. I read his explanation of politics – “Parliament of Whores” – at least once a year and believe it should be required reading for all aspiring politicians. They should also have to watch “Yes, Minister” in its entirety.
For Christmas, I received a copy of PJ’s recent book “The Baby Boom: How it got that way and it wasn’t my fault and I’ll never do it again.” [6] In it, PJ charts out a semi-autobiographical account of growing up in the Baby Boom generation and the Boomers influence on society. Obviously, he spends quite a lot of time talking about beer, including his university party house hiding 12,000 cubic feet of empty beer cans under the house in less than a year.
Talking about the identification of Baby Boomers with drugs, PJ argues that “it was beer that revealed our true qualities.” So far, so good, but then he goes too far: “And memo to Generation X with your microbreweries and your hops and malt snobs: beer is quantitative.”
If PJ can be so wrong, what hope for us mere mortals? Maybe I should sit down for a beer with him. We are on first name terms after all. When I met him for the first and only time our conversation went like this:
PJ: “Hi Neil.”
Neil: “How… how do you know my name?”
PJ: [pointing] “You are wearing a name tag.”
Neil: [crushed] “Will you please sign my book?”
Next time we drink to Mark Harmon and Harrison Ford, the inspirations for my new haircut.
[1] “What are the odds of that Hansie?” “There’s a gorilla on the table right now, let’s go!”
[2] Practically always in modern politics, sadly.
[3] I am aware that “barrel aging” is not strictly speaking an ingredient but it really did not fit anywhere else
[4] You won’t read writing of that quality in the Herald, that’s for sure.
[5] ‘Jammy’ means lucky for those unfamiliar with old British slang. I shudder to think how my friends would describe me if asked the same question.
[6] PJ’s influence on this blog is clearly evidenced by the growing length of the titles each week. Pete Brown has to take the credit/blame for inspiring the footnotes.
Cheers
Beer Writer
Beer and Brewer Magazine
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